When your friends start dating each other

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Ashley: We met in a seminar that was set up like a production company, and I was his boss. About a year later, after ending a terrible relationship and getting fired from my job, I went to a party at his house.He asked if anybody wanted to go four-wheeling, and I said I did. Kelly: She didn’t really know it was supposed to be a date. Ashley: I’m bisexual, and if this were true, I wouldn’t have any friends. And I have been attracted to most of them at some point or another, just not in a way that I could or wanted to sustain. Kelly: I think that viewing relationships as an inevitable thing that happens between two people who are attracted to each other takes away from the emotional vulnerability, and work, that goes into building strong commitments.Also, if your friend doesn’t share those feelings, don’t be angry with them. I would have liked it to be more then, but it wasn’t, so we became friends. Brice: I always harbored a greater appreciation and respect for Maggie than “just a friend.”Maggie: The best year of my life. The company had just gone through some big milestones and I was totally fried. The moment we saw each other – we hadn’t seen each other in a while – it was on. Of being alive.’ It was real life, better than I could have imagined.(So far.)Brice: We could say we’ve been together for a year, but we could also say we’ve not been apart for eight or nine or 10 in many ways. Pretty much out of the blue, he said, ‘Look, I need to get out of town. It just made total sense, and was a complete surprise at the same time.Dating a friend is widely recognized to be a pursuit fraught with potential complications.If it works out, great — but if it doesn’t, well, there’s a good chance the friendship won’t survive unscathed.We sought each other out, dated, then became friends. We’d find ourselves in the same city – Los Angeles, or Paris – because of our work, and we’d catch up.I’d ask him for career advice, he’d ask me for relationship advice. I respect friendship more than a fleeting escapade.

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On the flip side, when we rekindled the flame after college, our friendship and the friendship between our families became one of the best parts about our more-than-friendship.And we introduce each other to new things all the time.Plus, he’s fun to talk to about anything because he’s animated, opinionated and hilarious.When he showed up in Indiana the last time, I was terrified to try and date ANYBODY for real.But it quickly felt natural and right after all that talking and sharing.Be prepared for it not to go your way and that being just friends with this person is probably a whole lot better than not knowing them anymore.

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