The last time I saw him, I asked him if we could define our relationship. I decided that everything was probably okay until yesterday when my brother went to a coffee shop and saw him with another girl.In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.Ever been at a party or a function where someone is talking to you, but at the same time scanning the room looking for someone else to talk to? I can also date multiple people and still make the right choice. Dating multiple people has significantly disabled bachelors and bachelorettes from focusing on the people sitting right in front of them.Studies show that too many options actually make it harder to choose.Not one minute of those two months was focused exclusively on you, a prerequisite to really evaluating taking a relationship to the next step.But you really like him and don’t want to leave him because you think maybe tomorrow he will tell you that he wants to date you exclusively.Insisting that a man date you exclusively while he’s dating you sends him the signal that you are special, that you deserve love and care and respect. In my many years of matchmaking I’ve found that the one thing that’s gotten even the most confirmed bachelors off the fence and into marriage are women with inner self-confidence – no matter how quiet or soft they are – that insist on being treated the way they would treat their partner – with exclusive attention. Ziva Kramer, MA has been an international matchmaker, dating coach and spiritual advisor for professional singles for many years.
) This will set-up guidelines and give you a sense of security knowing your relationship status.Perhaps, in the end you didn’t either, so no harm, right? If you had dated exclusively, both of you would have come to this place sooner and not wasted precious time.Worse, if in fact you did fall for him, then you’re left heartbroken and empty.Every time I date a nice guy, especially if I like him, I feel so insecure and wonder, what if he’s dating someone else at the same time?Just last month, I met a cute guy and we went out and had so much fun together. Now it’s been a month and we’ve gone out four times.So you hang in there with anxiety and hope while another month goes by.