A person has a right to state a boundary about how they will be treated, meaning, this is something that you may or may not do to me, on me, near me, around me, or even aimed in my general direction. How would you feel if it wasn’t even an option to be seen, heard, validated as being a part of your life? You care about U’s feelings, you want her to feel included.Many people who are in this situation treat the issue of how open to be as a boundary issue, since they see clear consequences for themselves if a new partner let’s something slip, for instance, by posting something on Facebook. The truth remains, you’re not ready to be out at work.This is one of the most sought-after arrangements when a couple new to polyamory looks to open their relationship.Couples usually discover such a woman is almost impossible to find. So, you just posted on this really cool Poly forum that your friend told you about.I am not going to argue that anyone and everyone who is going to try Poly MUST be out as being Poly.
Their relationship has some very good points, they genuinely care for each other, are committed, and tend to be open to new experiences.It is critical to have a conversation with prospective partners, before there is a relationship, where you discuss how “out” you are wiling to be.Set expectations early, so that everyone knows what things will look like and can consider the ramifications.People can actually be perpetuating unhealthy, dysfunctional standards and practices while being completely unaware that they are part of the problem.If anyone has ever described the idea of societal privilege to you, it’s kinda like that.I’m going to start with a very simple one, the idea of discretion.