There was something especially cool about being friends with them. ""So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him."This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him. It seemed just about every woman I knew had a similar story, a time when wanting attention meant getting the wrong kind entirely. We were still at an age where our parents insisted on treating us like children. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. All I had was my instinct and discomfort — a bad gut feeling. When I write novels, there is always a clear trajectory: the beginning, middle, climax, and end. "We'll go somewhere."And that's when I said it."."My own voice — big, firm, filling the space — was a surprise to both of us. When I turned 21, I remember making a point, regularly, to look at teens and ask myself whether I'd want to hang out with them, much less date one. As a teen wishing to be an adult, it is easy to get in over your head. Time creates wisdom – but it also creates responsibilities and complications – mortgage, kids, career, etc.All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older. Still, most of them fail miserably, for the exact same reasons that I think Penelope is suggesting.And yet, they probably resemble Penelope’s dad more than they resemble her brother….This is the most compelling reason behind why younger women might go for older men: they’re daddy substitutes.
In college I studied Computer Science and forgot how to talk to women.
But see, for men who covet younger women, it’s not whether you look good for your age – it’s what age you really are. If she wants to date a guy who is 6’2”, makes 0,000 , likes skiing, is within ten miles of her house and five years of her age, you know what? All she has to do is go on Match.com, and wade through a few thousand applicants. There are many other things that are attractive about older men. They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts.
They’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twentysomething party boy.
Before long, we had our own inside jokes, a shared eye-roll at yet another lover's quarrel in a small space.
We talked about music, about high school, his experience then and mine now.
(I know how that sounds: I cringe now just typing it.) But at the time, to us, it wasn't weird or taboo as much as this epic, forbidden romance. Before long we were all hanging out together, driving around in his car: T and me in the front, my friend and her boyfriend in the back. What I do remember is sitting on a couch with T., him putting on a Elton John song and telling me, in words I can't recall specifically, that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I just recall being almost to my house, when I told T. I could see my house now, coming up ahead."We need to discuss this," he said. Like me and Sydney, she will most likely yearn for attention at one point or another. But how can I teach her that it is just as OK to need that scrutiny to stop?